Monday, October 13, 2014

A way with words

Elocutionary Advice

You might engage your jowls
To gather round your vowels.
And consonants slide better
With lips a little wetter.

in Volume 3 Issue 1 

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Monday, October 6, 2014

PRI: Phones, Radios, & Intercourse

The Life & Times (or Action/Adventures) of the Telemarketer and Her Poor Brainwashed and Enraptured Audience

i wanna
have sex
with one
of those
very
driven
pledge
drive
women
& see
how truly
sincere
& earnest
she really is
how far she
is willing
to go for
the cause
what really
goes on
behind
closed
doors
if her
non-verbals
& body language
actually match
& meet up
with her
body language
non-verbals
how giving
& generous
& passionate
& creative
or something
of a control freak
& has a whole
list of dos
& don'ts
(even
directions
& lecture
right on
the spot
if you
should
happen
to take
chances
& enter
into un-
chart-
her-
stare-
at-
ya
how
neu-
rotic
breaks
down
to lack
of erotic
& episodic
)guilt &
conflict
for being
neurotic( hit the road
& leave
a check
on her
night
table
maybe
a little
tickler
or sticky
on the
clock-
radio
thanking
her for her
contribution
& please
no need
to call.
by Joseph Reich
in Volume 3 Issue 1 

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Monday, September 29, 2014

A Parent's Advice

 The English Version
I don't hold with bilingualism. English was good enough for Jesus Christ.
  - Ralph Melnyk
If God wanted you to read
the Ten Commandments
in Spanish, father said, don't
you think He would have written
them in that language? Then why
are you studying a foreign language?
He chose to write them in English,
according to Hollywood, and they're
never wrong about matters like this.
The film companies have big lawyers
representing them. They don't make
a move without getting advice first
from their lawyers. Jesus Christ also
speaks in English. In the old days He
used to speak in Latin, but that caused
church goers to stay away. Why pray
to God, if you have to get your prayer
translated first? That involves middlemen.
That's why you should be so happy
you were born a Jew. Because bad
things were said about us as a people
no one wants to be our middleman,
step between us, because
his back will be exposed.


The Future is Nebulous

Why should we do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for us?
  - Joseph Addison
Why should I care, father said,
for the future? What has the future
done for me, except kept me waiting?
The future is always tomorrow,
and yet it never comes. It's like
the horizon, you never get there.
You can't sneak up on it. I'm
a prisoner of time. Maybe,
I'm being selfish, but I find
if I take care of the present,
then the future takes care of itself.
The future is more yours than mine.
You're younger. Therefore, you
have a better chance of seeing it
at work. By the time the future arrives,
I'll be dead. That's why I hang on
to the past as long as I can. You
see this hat. I've been wearing it
the last twenty years. Will I be
wearing it the next twenty? I
doubt it. I'll probably misplace it.
The mind plays tricks on you.
You think it's operating at
one hundred percent capacity.
But it gets as old as the body.

 

in Volume 3 Issue 1 

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Monday, September 22, 2014

More Emily

I Heard a Ringtone
with apologies to ED
I heard a ringtone—when I died
Aunt Sue was calling Mom.
My brother Tom was texting Sis
"Come qkly to the rm."

Sis texted back, then shed a tear
and searched boneyards.com
to find my final resting place
somewhere not far from town.

I willed my iPad, Kindle, phone
and laptop to my kid—
unfriended all my Facebook pals
made my last eBay bid,

Just then the bedside monitor
began to beep so loud
and Windows failed, but not before
it saved me—to the cloud.
by Patrick Cook
in Volume 3 Issue 1

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Monday, September 15, 2014

Fight off the fall chill

Dickinson 249.2
with apologies to Emily
Flannel sheets—Flannel sheets!
I'll sleep on Thee!
Your high thread count
Such luxury!

Futile—the winds—
That Blow in the Dark—
Abandon cold Percale
For your gentle Warmth!

Sleeping in Eden—
I Dream of warm Seas!
The frost will not touch me
Caressed by Thee!

by Marianne Gambaro
in Volume 3 Issue 1

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