as we sit in this dungeon, dimly lit.
Whether your humor is high- low- or medium-brow, subtle or direct, we are looking for your poetry. We are certainly very fond of true parodies of famous (or non-famous) poems, but we will also consider your haiku, limericks, or any other bits and pieces that will fit on our pages. If you are unsure of what makes a parody, consult the wisdom of wikipedia. Some of our heroes (other than Weird Al Yankovic, our hero of heroes) include Ogden Nash, Shel Silverstein, E.E. Cummings, Garrison Keillor, Oscar Wilde, Dr. Seuss, They Might be Giants, and Tim Minchin. Whether your words are meant to be read from the page or sung out loud, if they make us laugh, they belong in our pages!
P.O. Box 404
East Rochester, NY 14445
- Send us your submissions whenever you want (year-round).
- If your poem has been published elsewhere, congratulations... we don't want it.
- Exceptions may be made for poems hidden deep within the tubes of the internet.
- Simultaneous submissions are quite alright.
- Send up to three poems per submission. Once you hear back, please submit more!
- Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.
- Paste your poems in the body of an email, submit via text, or send via snail mail.
- We publish on April Fool's and Halloween, so submit sometime before then!
- Want a theme to get your creative juices flowing?
- Optical Trickery: Submit by January 31, 2015 for Issue 4.1
- Offbeat Psychologies (Tarot, Tea Leaves, Trephination, Palmistry, Phrenology, Physiognomy): Submit by August 30, 2015 for Issue 4.2
- Name (and pen-name, if applicable)
- Physical address
- The title & author, or a link, for the original poem (if yours is a parody)
- If any particular formatting is required, you should send along a PDF as well
- If you prepare a cover letter, we will almost certainly read it
- Sorry, better luck next time
- Perhaps humor isn't your shtick... submit to another On Impression Network Member
- We extract first serial rights and non-exclusive electronic rights from your poem. This means:
- We get first shot at printing it
- It will become an electronic monster to roam through unsuspecting CPUs
- All other rights revert to you, the poet, upon publication
- If you wind up reprinting it, we ask that you remember its history with us (except for the drunken phone calls, that time when we tried to serenade you and wound up yelling at the mariachi band, well... you get the idea)
- We will send a copy of the journal your way.
- Who knows what other surprises may hide in your envelope!
(Probably not money, but maybe someday)
We are pretty jealous of all you crafty folk who have mastered visual arts. Do you think your artwork would fit on our cover? Send a few sample images our way and perhaps we'll talk further!